Ephesians
6:1--"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
Proverbs
29:17--"Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give
delight to your heart."
Anybody noticed
lately that Chicken Little seems to be the role model of the day? Maybe a
modified version, but it's a Chicken Little world out there for sure.
How so, you ask?
How about parenting?
Tom and I were watching a vintage episode of "Leave It to Beaver" the
other day. As usual, the Beave was in a fix...this time he was the only boy
invited to an all-girls birthday party. Through the usual channels of story line
and lack of information, Beave was reluctantly marched upstairs to don that
blue suit and make a b-line to the party. And he did. Once there, however, the
birthday girl's parents made arrangements for Beaver to hang out in the study
with the birthday girl's dad. Beaver had a great afternoon looking over and
pretending the shoot many of the guns in birthday girl's dad's collection. We
had to laugh--not only at the actual show, which was funny--but also at the
21st century response of a parent to this happening. My guess is that about
half the original guests would have been no-shows in current times, knowing
that the parent kept guns in the house. The other half (including the Beave's
parents) would have completely alienated birthday girl's friendship by now as a
result of such as atrocity as allowing a child to "play with guns" in
a home...and without Beaver's parent's permission. Who is this nut of a
father?? Thus ensues the panic mode.
To us baby boomers
who grew up and survived (quite nicely, thanks much) these environments, the
guy isn't a nut at all...in fact, he was just doing a very natural thing. He
was being an adult and showing a child a collection. There were no schemes of ill will, no lack of thought, no
stupidity involved. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Adults became adults
and stayed that way. Once they crossed that threshold, they no longer tried to
go back and be kids again. As a result, the panic mode was somewhat unheard
of...only a few folks ever slipped the phase of going from kid to adult. The
adult assumed the responsibility. The kids, throughout their lives, were in
safe training modes of becoming adults.
Actually, it was all
quite clearly defined...unlike today.
Somewhere between
there and here, things got loopy. Adults decided it was more fun just not to
grow up so, instead of taking the path from kid to adult, they created a loop
so they can repeatedly--at will--loop
around from adult to kid and back to adult. I don't know about you, but that
sounds exhausting. It also creates panic mode. How does anyone have time to be
a parent, a bestest buddy, a #1 fan, and a provider of not only basic
necessities but also every desire? Pretty big plate, if you ask me.
And what happens
when it's time for the next generation to step up to take over and take care of
the older folks and the younger folks? They don't know how? Their every need
and want has been attended to (sometimes before they even realized there was a
want or need), and now they're in charge?
That's when we'll
see a REAL panic mode, folks.
Let's face it...not
all kids are going to grow up with the perfect lives--at last count about 0%.
It's not our life's work to protect our kids 24/7/365. They have to grow up;
they have to stumble; they have to make nasty mistakes that sometimes leave some
pretty deep gashes. And, sadly, some kids will just pretty much blunder all
throughout life. But parenting in panic mode isn't going to make their lives
any less messy...in fact, it will more than likely get all the messier.
We adults have a
serious job in just being adults. We don't have the time to be our kid's
friend...we're their parents. They have to know there are lines drawn and if
those lines are crossed, there are consequences. We've blurred the lines
between loving our kids and feeling the need to be their best buddy protector
and it's darned confusing to those little guys...that's what their peers are
for. And, let's face it--we're not very good at it. It keeps us in panic mode.
And, when we're in panic mode, we're not in control. Birthday girl's dad was
totally in control...he was the adult in the situation with a kid. Beaver had a
neat experience holding a gun and pretending to shoot it. He didn't go out and
directly try to hustle one off the street or steal one before he left birthday
girl's house. There was an adult in control that was calling the shots, no pun
intended.
Are we in panic
mode, or are we the adults in control? Let's lose the panic button and see if
things get a little better for everyone.