Father (and Mother) Know Best

Reading: Proverbs 1:8-9

Our society has become somewhat upside down when it comes to children's respect for their parents. Granted, sometimes that respect is anything but earned, but nevertheless, it seems more often than not that the kids tend to be running the show these days. Watch any sitcom and you see the kids with razor-sharp retorts that leave the parents looking like stooges. No guidance, no wisdom...just a complete role reversal.


Wonder if this has any effect on "regular" kids? Just be an observer at the local department store, restaurant, or school event. I'm thinking you'll be overwhelmed by kids' lack of respect toward their parents.

In a former job, I became more aware of this when I would witness an attitude developed by even small kids in their relationships with adults. What seemed to be just plain bad manners on the kids' part quickly became visible as their own difficulty in dealing with a double identity--as a regular kid and as an "adult in kid suit".

How does this happen? Look to the adults. As the traditional family structure continues to erode, loneliness becomes an unwelcome guest in adults' lives. Kids are a ready audience to hear the problems. The initial idea of the younger being a sounding board turns into the younger becoming a confidant. Questions are posed to the kids--the kids try to formulate answers on topics that are not in their league. The traditional parent/child bond turns more into a relationship of trusted friend. Then, when discipline or advice is needed, it becomes a very awkward situation for other adults to contribute. All of a sudden, a  teacher who would normally tell a student to discontinue an inappropriate behavior and be met with no retort, is instead being met with an argument from the child. Why? Simply because this child now sees him/herself as an equal on the adult/child playing field. He/she is, after all, one of the adults in the home. Why not everywhere?

There's also a phenomena happening in our society where the role of the child in the home is moving to a different plane. For ages and ages, the children in a home were somewhat in the background, thus allowing them to be kids, learning through watching adults' interactions in different social situations, to grow into people who could contribute to society. This takes time...and neural development. Some take more time than others. However, now kids are thrust into the limelight so early on and, although I can safely imagine that no parents intend for it to make the child feel awkward/uncomfortable, all that attention many times has a detrimental effect. The "adult in a kid suit" problem arises yet again. Add to this the oddity of parents who more or less publicly declare their love and devotion to their children through social media, i.e. Facebook, etc., it becomes a perfect storm of the magnifying glass being upon kids who truly need some time in the societal shadows to figure out how to just "play nice" with their peers--literally. Wisdom comes with time...throwing kids to the lions of society too early can only have less than pleasing consequences.

Wisdom is what Proverbs is all about--and wisdom comes from age and living life. Therefore, the verses that follow give strong instruction to children:

"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck" (verses 8-9).

Our family structure is not one where the kids give the orders. Our family structure is where Mom and Dad, through their own experiences in life, can give guidance and counsel to their children. Parents are given a sacred trust to lead their children in the right direction; children are given an equally sacred trust to follow the direction of their parents. Once this is done, the family bond grows stronger as does the Family of God.

Peace be with you.

The Book of Proverbs: The Prologue

Readings: Proverbs 1:1-7

I have always been fascinated by the Book of Proverbs. It is indeed timeless. So, for the next several blog posts, I'm going to take a stroll through the Proverbs. I hope you'll enjoy the journey.

Verses 1-7:

"The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young--let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance--for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."

Anyone who has ever sat in a Sunday School class, attended Bible School, or listened to a church sermon has more than likely heard of Solomon. "The wisdom of Solomon" is something we strive for in our lives. When we think of the word wisdom, many times we think of Solomon. So, it stands to reason that looking to the words of Solomon would be good advice indeed.

Even in the prologue of the Book of Proverbs, we already see a the good advice beginning--suggestions on how to live our daily lives. The words discipline, understanding, doing what is right and just and fair...good recommendations to us all. There is little discipline, it seems, in our world today. People tend to do or say whatever comes to mind without weighing the consequences--as a result, there is a great deal of hurt between couples, between families, between friends, between neighbors. It is a shame.

Understanding words of insight is another piece of advice that seems to escape many these days. How many times do we truly not listen to the person speaking to us? Are we instead much too occupied with formulating the perfect comeback in our responses? Misunderstandings seems to rule the day.

Doing what is right and just and fair is rare. We have so very many laws these days that it is next to impossible to follow them all. On the other hand, more and more people seem to ignore all laws altogether--whether man-made or sacred. We have lost much of our trust in one another; we have lost confidence in the long-honored handshake; we swear left and right and don't take it seriously.

Giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young--the young among us are always in need of direction (no matter what they think). Young people can be easily misled by many things and many people. It's difficult to see through deceptions when life experience is the only teacher...and that experience has not yet had a chance to be learned. So, we try to achieve that delicate balance between being the wise teacher and the old know-it-all.

Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance--for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline--I'm going to hope that most all of us are smart AND wise enough to listen closely and carry with us a healthy fear of the Lord. From time to time, we act the fool, despising wisdom handed to us in the form of being put into our places for our best interests. There doesn't seem to be an age limit on this; thankfully, it does seems to lessen as we age if we've paid attention along the way.

Solomon's proverbs are as ageless today as they were centuries ago...we would all do well to read and practice them in our daily lives.

Peace be with you.

Please Pass This Cup

Reading: Mark 14:32-36

With all the horrific violence in Connecticut this week, it's a shaky time in our country. We're frustrated, we're afraid, we're angry, we're exhausted. We've been bombarded with the media giving us incorrect information, constantly changing information, and their endless opinions. All the special interest groups are in full steam ahead mode, clamoring their anti- and pro-gun rhetoric. The cacophony of all the confusion is deafening.

And, we ask "why?"

How can God let this happen?

It's not a question we like to hear, especially as followers of God; when those on uneven spiritual ground or no spiritual ground at all ask this question, we squirm.

Just be reminded that this is not heaven yet. This is the imperfect world; we each have a mission. We're not going to be able to even remotely make sense of acts of evil after evil--this is what makes the world the world. This is, as believers, our mission field. We're not going to understand the why and how of everything that happens when Satan is on the loose--our intelligence is finite. However, we have been given, as believers of the next world's existence, the mission of working with one person at a time to bring them to this belief as well. We need to remember that the work is now. Our true peace will come in our eternal home.

Every time something horrific, sad, or distressing happens, we lose our comfort level. We ask to have the cup passed from us and let us just go about our lives. It's very difficult to do, but we all need to remember that each worldly event increases our duty to share that there is still Good News...that this life is fleeting, but eternal life is available to all for the asking.

There are not too many things I can think of that are more excruciating than losing a child to mindless violence. It's mind-numbing to even consider it. Yet, the love of Christ and the love of God is so very deep--it is the only answer that will help the healing begin. It's my charge--and my honor--every day to offer words of God's infinite love to those I come into contact with. I hope it will be your charge and honor as well.

God's will be done--His will for us of loving one another as we love ourselves. In this way, the world, even when it's at its worst, will perhaps make a bit more sense. And living our faith will spread some loving light on our brothers and sisters of this world.

Peace be with you.

The Journey of James--Our Challenges for Today, pt. 1

As I was reading through the Book of James, it seemed that the concerns he shares are as relevant today as they were in his lifetime. So, for the next few weeks, I'll be walking through the chapters and sharing his wisdom and discovery.

In the first part of the first chapter, he speaks of trials and temptations...like I said, very relevant for us today. From the moment we wake up, it seems that the trials and/or temptations begin. When we go to sleep at night, many times they still linger.

What does James offer as advice for these troubles?

Enjoy them.

You heard it...enjoy each and every one that comes your way. Why, you ask?

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). 

A common response, then, is why does God test us so much? James' answer? God doesn't test us...that seed of doubt that grows and expands and turns to our own brand of inner torture of trials is all ours--homegrown within us. We are imperfect, after all--our goal in this life to seek wisdom that starts erasing those imperfections. 

"When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death" (1:13-15).

So, knowing this, how do we become assured that we will be able to avoid the seeds of doubt, evil, and desires that bring us only misery? Ask for wisdom.

"If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" (1:5).

It seems to all come down to faith and honesty on our part. That nagging in our gut that tells us what we're doing isn't right is doing us a great service if we heed that nagging. Being honest with ourselves and others is a great stress reliever, too...as Mark Twain once said, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." The truth will set you free.

"Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we be a kind of first fruits of all he created" (1:16-18).

Peace be with you.

Time to Forgive...and to be Forgiven

Reading: 2 Corinthians 5:17-19

We're in for a good test of our mettle this week, folks. On Tuesday we'll be having our national, regional, and local elections. To say it's been a dirty bunch of campaigning has been an understatement.

Now it's time to forgive...and to be forgiven.

"If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation; the old is gone and the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation" (2 Corinthians 5:17-19).

I've been reading an excellent book this week, Praying Like Jesus, by James Mulholland. Mr. Mulholland's book goes through each stage of The Lord's Prayer and puts it into simple, yet thought-provoking words.This morning I was reading a section on forgiveness and it immediately had me thinking about the upcoming election on Tuesday. Hopefully, not too much damage has been done with our words and with our deeds; hopefully, the clean-up will be manageable. One segment in the book tells of when President Lincoln was in the midst of the end of the horrible Civil War. All those round him were demanding retribution from the South--the punishment should be severe, they told him. They were the enemy. Lincoln reminded them that there was a much more effective way to destroy one's enemies. He stated, "Do I not destroy my enemy when I make him my friend?"

Words to savor, digest, and ponder...words of wisdom.

As Mr. Mulholland states in this chapter of his book, we need to remind ourselves that all the self-righteous indignation we can muster is one thing...ridiculous. Pointless. 

Why, we ask? We've been wronged; we've been hurt; we've suffered at the words and deeds of others.

Because, simply, we've all been forgiven...over and over and over again. Every day--hour by hour. God forgives. God loves unconditionally. And God is our model for living. That's all we need to remember. 

So, as the elections approach, let's keep this in the backs of our minds...or in the fronts. Harsh words do no good whatsoever; harsh deeds make the darkness all the darker. And we are truly children of the light.

Peace be with you.

Putting the Power Struggle into Perspective

Readings: Daniel 7:9-14, I Thessalonians 5:1-11, Matthew 25:31-46

During this season of posturing, finger-pointing, and down-right ugliness, I sometimes feel the need to shut off the TV, turn off the radio, click off the computer, and ignore all reading materials until the political season blows over. I know I'm not alone in this. I'm perplexed by the many candidates for office who blatantly ignore the question posed to them at a debate only to use their allotted time to bad-mouth the opposing candidate. All this struggle for one thing--power. 

Look out.

Too much power in the hands of humans has been proven, over the centuries, not to be a good thing--we're just not good at handling it. Even the most well-meaning politician, once handed a great deal of power, will need a great deal of reserve to keep things in perspective. It normally doesn't end well.

Only one takes and uses this power for all good things: our loving God. Fortunately for all of us, he lent this power to Christ as well in order to aid us in our lives to work for the betterment of this beautiful planet and all people and things that inhabit it.

"He was given authority, glory, and sovereign power, all peoples, nations, and men of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed" (Daniel 7:14).

God is our one true authority--he waivers to no one. We're still not so hot at it. It's not an easy street to be on; over the years, we've had perhaps a hand-full of leaders who have truly understood the concept. Unfortunately, too many others are lured by the temptation of power and influence and, over time, lose sight of their true call to serve and not be served. 

Christ understood authority--and the price that, during his time on earth, came with it. "He died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing" (I Thessalonians 5:10-11). He was in ultimate service to God for all our sakes.

During this time of fist-shaking, fabricating, and general nastiness, we need to pray for a peaceful solution. Our job is not to work diligently for one person to have power over another--our job is decide who of those running for office will be the best servant to all people--rich and poor, but particularly a servant to those who need our help the most. Wondering if that is an out-dated idea? I don't think so..."He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for the least of these, you did not do for me.' Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life" (Matthew 25:45-46).

Peace be with you.

A Good, Old-Fashioned Pity Party

Readings: Job 14:1-6, I Thessalonians 4:13-18, Matthew 24:15-28

We all have a good, old-fashioned pity party from time to time. I don't know of anyone who is exempt from them. I know I've had my share. In today's readings, we get to witness--step by step--of one of the Bible's most famous pity parties--Job. 

As you'll recall, Job pretty much had the world by the tail--big family, health, wealth, all the good things in life--until Satan came to God one day and suggested that perhaps if Job's life were not as easy, he might not be as quick to praise God for all his many blessings. So, the problems began for Job--the massacres, the boils, the loss of virtually everything. And then the friends showed up to rub a little proverbial salt into those wounds. 

And Job, for a good while, did a very human thing--he had a pity party. At one point he declared that his life, as well as all others' on the planet, was futile at best. "Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. So look away from him and let him alone, till he has put in his time like a hired man" (Job 14:5).

Sound familiar? I think we all have these feelings from time to time. "What's the use?" we ask ourselves. Why work so hard to do well for others when it all comes down to dying and being laid to rest--the cemeteries are full of both saints and sinners. 

That's where our pity parties must end--there is a purpose for all things in life, and our faith is our life line. "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope"(I Thessalonians 4:13). "Therefore encourage each other with these words" (I Thessalonians 4:18). If we get caught up in the pity party ourselves, we start looking for the easy way out--just what Satan is hoping for, day after day. We are warned of this throughout the Bible, particularly in the book of Matthew: "So if anyone tell you, 'There he is, out in the desert,' do not go out; or, 'Here he is, in the inner rooms' do not believe it. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man'"(24:26-27). We'll get caught up in the ultimate web of deceit if we allow our need for temporary extreme comfort to over-take our wisdom.

So, do we eliminate pity parties from our lives completely? More than likely not. From time to time we'll all feel a little out of sorts--that's pretty natural. But the key to all this is to pull ourselves out of it as quickly as possible. And, if that doesn't work as well as we think it should, look to a friend to help you with getting un-stuck...most times, there's someone there more than happy to help you get back to happy, too. Ultimately, tell your best friend in the world--Jesus will understand and always makes time to listen.

Peace be with you.

(NIV Study Bible)