The New Normal--Panic Mode--Part One: Panic Parenting

Ephesians 6:1--"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

Proverbs 29:17--"Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart."

Anybody noticed lately that Chicken Little seems to be the role model of the day? Maybe a modified version, but it's a Chicken Little world out there for sure.

How so, you ask?

How about parenting? Tom and I were watching a vintage episode of "Leave It to Beaver" the other day. As usual, the Beave was in a fix...this time he was the only boy invited to an all-girls birthday party. Through the usual channels of story line and lack of information, Beave was reluctantly marched upstairs to don that blue suit and make a b-line to the party. And he did. Once there, however, the birthday girl's parents made arrangements for Beaver to hang out in the study with the birthday girl's dad. Beaver had a great afternoon looking over and pretending the shoot many of the guns in birthday girl's dad's collection. We had to laugh--not only at the actual show, which was funny--but also at the 21st century response of a parent to this happening. My guess is that about half the original guests would have been no-shows in current times, knowing that the parent kept guns in the house. The other half (including the Beave's parents) would have completely alienated birthday girl's friendship by now as a result of such as atrocity as allowing a child to "play with guns" in a home...and without Beaver's parent's permission. Who is this nut of a father?? Thus ensues the panic mode.

To us baby boomers who grew up and survived (quite nicely, thanks much) these environments, the guy isn't a nut at all...in fact, he was just doing a very natural thing. He was being an adult and showing a child a collection. There were no  schemes of ill will, no lack of thought, no stupidity involved. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Adults became adults and stayed that way. Once they crossed that threshold, they no longer tried to go back and be kids again. As a result, the panic mode was somewhat unheard of...only a few folks ever slipped the phase of going from kid to adult. The adult assumed the responsibility. The kids, throughout their lives, were in safe training modes of becoming adults.

Actually, it was all quite clearly defined...unlike today.

Somewhere between there and here, things got loopy. Adults decided it was more fun just not to grow up so, instead of taking the path from kid to adult, they created a loop so they can  repeatedly--at will--loop around from adult to kid and back to adult. I don't know about you, but that sounds exhausting. It also creates panic mode. How does anyone have time to be a parent, a bestest buddy, a #1 fan, and a provider of not only basic necessities but also every desire? Pretty big plate, if you ask me.

And what happens when it's time for the next generation to step up to take over and take care of the older folks and the younger folks? They don't know how? Their every need and want has been attended to (sometimes before they even realized there was a want or need), and now they're in charge?

That's when we'll see a REAL panic mode, folks.

Let's face it...not all kids are going to grow up with the perfect lives--at last count about 0%. It's not our life's work to protect our kids 24/7/365. They have to grow up; they have to stumble; they have to make nasty mistakes that sometimes leave some pretty deep gashes. And, sadly, some kids will just pretty much blunder all throughout life. But parenting in panic mode isn't going to make their lives any less messy...in fact, it will more than likely get all the messier. 

We adults have a serious job in just being adults. We don't have the time to be our kid's friend...we're their parents. They have to know there are lines drawn and if those lines are crossed, there are consequences. We've blurred the lines between loving our kids and feeling the need to be their best buddy protector and it's darned confusing to those little guys...that's what their peers are for. And, let's face it--we're not very good at it. It keeps us in panic mode. And, when we're in panic mode, we're not in control. Birthday girl's dad was totally in control...he was the adult in the situation with a kid. Beaver had a neat experience holding a gun and pretending to shoot it. He didn't go out and directly try to hustle one off the street or steal one before he left birthday girl's house. There was an adult in control that was calling the shots, no pun intended.

Are we in panic mode, or are we the adults in control? Let's lose the panic button and see if things get a little better for everyone.

Plant Wisely and Grow with God's Grace

"So neither he who plants is anything nor he who waters, but (only) God Who makes it grow and become greater" (I Corinthians 3:7).

This spring I've had my first experience with growing tomato plants from seed. I've always admired how people have grown massive tomato-bearing behemoths from tiny seeds; I've always made myself content with buying a more mature plant at the garden store that, many times, had small yellow blossoms already. My fascination with watching them grow from "little sprouts" to the more mature plants was increased ten fold last year when I bought a tiny plant and brought it to my little greenhouse. Given its size, I had no idea if it would even survive, much less grow into a healthy fruit-bearing plant. I watered it, put it in a big pot to match the size I hoped it would achieve before planting it in the ground once the dirt warmed, and then tried to be patient. That plant grew almost before my very eyes. It was incredible how it grew each day.

I was hooked.

This spring I had every ambition to start from scratch...or seed, as the case may be. I knew how well the plant enjoyed  and thrived in the greenhouse environment, so I knew that seeds would find the perfect environment for germination and becoming healthy seedlings.

Then the greenhouse was destroyed.

I found myself with a bunch of "orphaned" tomato seeds and little good experience with growing anything indoors. In the past, I would have lots of good intentions and leggy, thread-like wisps of seedlings that never survived. This time I needed to grow more wisely. So, I read a good book on germination and seedlings, bought some decent germination trays and planting medium, and invested in a good grow light. After following the directions carefully, the seeds did germinate, and they did grow under the encouragement of the glow of the grow light. In fact, they grew out of their little germination squares pretty quickly.

I was in new territory again.

So, back to the research and the wisdom of others who suggested I "cook" some dirt to sterilize it, and then transplant the tomato plants. I had read originally that the roots of a new plant are exceedingly delicate and the transplant process can destroy them. Apparently, leaves grow back freely...roots, not so much. So, I took the greatest care I could in separating the "twins"--the two germinated seeds originally planted together  that had both grown into seedlings. So delicate, so tiny… Into the new planting medium they went in their new "homes"...the peat pots. Each were carefully watered and placed back under the grow lights to get accustomed to their new growing environment. The next morning I hesitated to look at them, fearing that I would see wilted little green messes rather than the healthy little plants I'd seen the night before.  Happily, they were all still standing and looked okay...no worse for the wear.

A pretty humbling experience…

We can plant, we can water, we can feed...but it is ultimately God's incredible wisdom and grace that makes anything on this glorious planet truly grow and thrive. And, it's kind of the same way with all of us. We can plant the seeds of faith, love, and trust within ourselves and then share with our neighbors, but it will need God's consistent input to make it truly blossom into the healthiest  kind of harvest.

Peace be with you.

Love for our Enemies

Luke 6:27-36: "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

It's been a tremendously rough week on a lot of people. I'm writing this as I watch Bob Sheiffer and "Face the Nation"--not my usual routine, but it's not exactly been a "usual" week, either. There is, of course, a great deal of coverage of the Boston Marathon bombings as well as the gun control vote this past week. Two extremes in our country with, what would seem to many, mind-boggling outcomes. In one report, we  now know that an American citizen and his younger brother did the unspeakable by killing and maiming just plain folks who were out on a spring day to participate in an innocuous event. In another report, we have our own Congress voting down any measure of protection for our citizens in violent outbreaks; in a discussion, three family members of three of the deceased at Sandyhook Elementary were feeling very betrayed by the representatives of their own country.

Our country is hurting...hurting...hurting…

What a paradox we face--in our gut, we want to lash out at the three men who caused unimaginable pain in these two incidents; yet, as Christians, we are called to a higher command: "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

The first response will be that they should be tried by our courts--I agree. That's how we handle the earthly transgressions in our time. However, the greater test is for us individually. We have been commanded to love our enemies. This great challenge is where we need to not divide as Christians, but unite...we NEED each others' support for this one! I invite you to join me in being very careful in what is written, posted, or said about these tragedies. It's extremely easy to make it our mortal battle without  heeding Jesus' words. I need to constantly remind myself that it's not my plan, it's not my rules, it's not my say, it's not my planet...I'm just here for a visit. It is, however, my call as a follower of Christ to follow his words. Not always easy, and, for the most part, I'm guessing I do a pretty lousy job...but to know the peace of Christ makes it all worthwhile. 

Peace be with you.

A Good Tired

"The old has passed away; behold, the new has come"--2 Corinthians 5:17

Happily, happily spring has arrived for real. Coats are being shed as the sun gives us some warmth...what a treat! Yesterday was the first real work day in the gardens and around the yard. Limbs to be hauled, flowers to be transplanted, garden beds to get ready. It's incredible to see everything coming to life, yet, by the end of the first week, it becomes pretty overwhelming to keep up with the pace. There's always something needing attention, and a finite amount of time in season to get things going before the weather gets too hot to do what is needed. Besides, after a winter lay-off from physical labor, it's just plain tiring to dig, hoe, haul, and keep moving all day. This wonderful feeling has its price.

As I was getting ready to head out to transplant some huge chunks of day lilies I dug up yesterday, it occurred to me. how our spiritual lives can emulate our first days of emerging from the winter season. When we are immersed in God's perfect love, we are exhilarated...we feel fresh energy and ageless...we soar with happiness. Then, once we get bogged down with our daily routine, we begin to feel somewhat overwhelmed with this wonderful gift. We have a misunderstanding here, an uncomfortable decision to make there. We start to feel the enormity of the gift. Will we ever get things done in our finite time here on earth?

In gardening as well as in life, probably not. But I think it's okay.

As we start getting a little dirt on our jeans and on our shovels, we get into a smoother routine. We realize that there doesn't need to be the frantic rush; what will get done will get done. Anything that we get accomplished toward growing those beautiful plants is a good thing...there will be a payoff of good eating in a few weeks. We can relax and enjoy the experience. We can share the fruits of our labors with others. The same applies to our freshening of the soul...we can share our love of God and all His creation with others. We're not going to be perfect at being a Christian--but it's gloriously okay. During our finite season during our lifetimes, we can expand God's garden of love...one nurtured seed at a time. Do we get tired? You bet. But, in both cases, it's a good tired.

Peace be with you.

Just For Today...And All Our Todays

Luke 24:34: "...He is risen indeed..."

Happy Easter.

I study Reiki through the lineage of Dr. Mikao Usui. One of the delights of this study is the mantra Dr. Usui asks that we repeat each morning:

"Just for today, do not worry
 Just for today, do not anger
 Honor your parents, teachers and elders
 Earn your living honestly
 Show gratitude to everything."

This is, of course the same mantra I use to honor Christ; I share this mantra with you on this holy day. 

Because of his sacrifice, just for today (and all of my todays) we need not worry; we need not anger. 

To honor the commandments sent by our Father, we honor our parents, our teachers, and our elders.

To honor all that we are as children of God, we earn our livings honestly.

Because Jesus loves us beyond human comprehension, we show gratitude to everything.

He is risen indeed...what a wonderful day to share in the blessings we all have received.

Peace be with you, for today and for all our todays.

The Loop

Readings: Proverbs 8: 1-10

Our world, our country, our towns, our neighborhoods, our personal lives seem to be on a loop these days. We know what we need to do, what we should do, yet do we do it?

Nope.

Why?

No idea.

Life could be so simple...yet, for some weird reason, we make it anything but.

Wisdom...the central idea, word, philosophy of the Book of Proverbs. 

"Does not wisdom call out? Does not understanding raise her voice? On the heights along the way, where the paths meet, she takes her stand; beside the gates leading into the city, at the entrances  she cries aloud: 'To you, O men, I call out; I raise my voice to all mankind. You who are simple, gain prudence; you who are foolish, gain understanding. Listen, for I have worthy things to say; I open my lips to speak what is right. My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness. All the words of my mouth are just; none of them is crooked or perverse. To the discerning all of them are right; they are faultless to those who have knowledge. Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold'" (1-10).

I truly believe that the vast majority of us start out each morning with these words in mind--that we will follow them and choose wisdom. But then life gets in the way. By the end of the day, we're beaten and tired and realize we've done little in the pursuit of "our call to wisdom". We've fallen into the same old loop...working our tails off for lots of wants and few needs only to be let down after the initial excitement quickly wears off, not having the time to really enjoy life and the company of others. We start off the week--much like we start off each passing new year--this time we're going to live uncomplicated lives, take care of ourselves and of one another...living the command to love others as we love ourselves. Most of all, we'll put God in spot #1 in our lives, above all others and all things.

And then our good intentions fall far short...we're back in the loop. It's not a happy place to be. Stress, frustration, anger, confusion. No actual peace, no feeling of prudence, no true understanding. 

Let's all work together this week to avoid the loop. I'll pray for you...you pray for me...and let's pray for the whole world while we're at it.

Peace be with you.

The List the Leads to Inner Peace

Readings: Proverbs 6:16-19

We all read magazines, books, newspaper articles, and websites that are composed of lists. I kind of like those articles--they are easy to read and comprehend with no excess of words to make the content murky. As in the reading from Proverbs today, the writers of these books of wisdom--from time to time--supply us with lists much like this particular one.

"There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes
a lying tongue
hands that shed innocent blood
a heart that devises wicked schemes
feet that are quick to rush into evil
a false witness who pours out lies
and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers"

These verses offer us excellent guidelines still today on our journey to be people of peace.

--haughty eyes show a proud heart: humility is our goal to live lives of true inner peace;

--a lying tongue, a heart that devises wicked schemes, a false witness who pours out lies: a heart that is hardened to peace will always be searching to make others feel/act like him. Just as dogs go from docile to vicious when packed together by an aggressive leader, so will humans when led by a person with a hardened heart. The hardened heart will stop at nothing to destroy those with inner peace...lies, false witness, scheming...Once these elements of hate disappear, the heart and soul once again gains inner peace and the torture ends;

--hands that shed innocent blood: a commandment for all time. Inner peace cannot be achieved when innocent blood is on one's hands;

--feet that are quick to rush into evil: beware the one with the lying tongue, the false witness...if our feet fall into the pathway of those who live to hurt others to gain an advantage, we too will find our hearts and souls getting farther and farther away from inner peace;

--and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers--this can be somewhat confusing when speaking of inner peace. Should we always go with the flow? This is not what we're being guided to do. We must always look to the right and the true. If we're following God's path, our hearts will continue to have inner peace and our souls will feel free. To assure us that we can follow that path, we follow Christ, our eternal guide.

During this time of Lent, we follow the footsteps of Christ and look inward to find our eternal inner peace of heart and soul. Following this list that is provided will aid us in finding a smoother path to this wondrous gift.

Peace be with you.