Our society has become somewhat upside down when it comes to children's respect for their parents. Granted, sometimes that respect is anything but earned, but nevertheless, it seems more often than not that the kids tend to be running the show these days. Watch any sitcom and you see the kids with razor-sharp retorts that leave the parents looking like stooges. No guidance, no wisdom...just a complete role reversal.
Wonder if this has any effect on "regular" kids? Just be an observer at the local department store, restaurant, or school event. I'm thinking you'll be overwhelmed by kids' lack of respect toward their parents.
In a former job, I became more aware of this when I would witness an attitude developed by even small kids in their relationships with adults. What seemed to be just plain bad manners on the kids' part quickly became visible as their own difficulty in dealing with a double identity--as a regular kid and as an "adult in kid suit".
How does this happen? Look to the adults. As the traditional family structure continues to erode, loneliness becomes an unwelcome guest in adults' lives. Kids are a ready audience to hear the problems. The initial idea of the younger being a sounding board turns into the younger becoming a confidant. Questions are posed to the kids--the kids try to formulate answers on topics that are not in their league. The traditional parent/child bond turns more into a relationship of trusted friend. Then, when discipline or advice is needed, it becomes a very awkward situation for other adults to contribute. All of a sudden, a teacher who would normally tell a student to discontinue an inappropriate behavior and be met with no retort, is instead being met with an argument from the child. Why? Simply because this child now sees him/herself as an equal on the adult/child playing field. He/she is, after all, one of the adults in the home. Why not everywhere?
There's also a phenomena happening in our society where the role of the child in the home is moving to a different plane. For ages and ages, the children in a home were somewhat in the background, thus allowing them to be kids, learning through watching adults' interactions in different social situations, to grow into people who could contribute to society. This takes time...and neural development. Some take more time than others. However, now kids are thrust into the limelight so early on and, although I can safely imagine that no parents intend for it to make the child feel awkward/uncomfortable, all that attention many times has a detrimental effect. The "adult in a kid suit" problem arises yet again. Add to this the oddity of parents who more or less publicly declare their love and devotion to their children through social media, i.e. Facebook, etc., it becomes a perfect storm of the magnifying glass being upon kids who truly need some time in the societal shadows to figure out how to just "play nice" with their peers--literally. Wisdom comes with time...throwing kids to the lions of society too early can only have less than pleasing consequences.
Wisdom is what Proverbs is all about--and wisdom comes from age and living life. Therefore, the verses that follow give strong instruction to children:
"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck" (verses 8-9).
Our family structure is not one where the kids give the orders. Our family structure is where Mom and Dad, through their own experiences in life, can give guidance and counsel to their children. Parents are given a sacred trust to lead their children in the right direction; children are given an equally sacred trust to follow the direction of their parents. Once this is done, the family bond grows stronger as does the Family of God.
Peace be with you.
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