Sunday, February 17, 2013

Making the Simple Complicated

Readings: Proverbs 2: 6-11

I feel sorry for kids these days. But not for the usual reasons I see and hear online and out amongst folks. I feel sorry for them because we continuously make the simple complicated.

Growing up in the 60's and 70's was not exactly a non-happening time in the world. We were involved in a highly unpopular war, women were leaving the traditional home in droves for the world of work, kids were finding themselves with baby sitters more than their own parents, TV shows were getting more gritty all the time with their content, people were protesting in the streets about most everything imaginable, drug usage was rampant in the country.

Wait...how is it different from today?

From one point of view, it's just more of the same. From yet another point of view, it's a different world altogether. 

When I was a kid, our parents didn't make the simple complicated. At our house, when the news was carrying every bloody detail of Viet Nam at supper time, the TV was turned off or down so as not to interrupt our meal...and yes, the TV was in a different room. If it was something my dad saw as important, he got up, went and listened for a couple of minutes and returned to our meal and our mealtime conversation. I was a fortunate kid who had Mom at home during the day, so I had supper from the stove most every night. Fast food or eating out was the exception, not the rule. There was no status in being the first to eat at a new restaurant; it just didn't really even make sense when there was a good cook at home. I kept busy with school, church, and community projects and events, but they had a time and place. If we had been told we were expected to travel all weekend for an event or to be at said event practically every night of the week, I think the laughter from my and other parents would have drowned out the idea. We were, after all, kids. And TV shows? If they were not good for me to watch, I was told to go play in my room or something else was found. In my house, the "talk about drugs" didn't happen--drugs were something the doctor prescribed that you took only if you were sick and sick was not something anyone wanted. Sick was a quick bout to be tolerated and gotten over as soon as possible. Healthy was prized. Healthy meant you could re-join the fun. Didn't feel good? Stay home. Period. That made healthy a serious goal...so we ate our vegetables and went to bed at bedtime. It was a simple remedy.

We've become a society that goes to great measures to make the simple complicated. We have mopped ourselves into those proverbial corners where we feel compelled to the point of misery if we're not on the run to the newest restaurant, to the newest gadget, to the newest whatever it is. We spend way too much money on things that we feel we need, which oftentimes gets confused with want. We fall for that "you deserve this" line more often than not. We share too many details with little ones about world events--they didn't create this mess, how are they supposed to understand it? We share too many details of our adult lives with kids--once again, they didn't create the mess, so they won't understand it and they will get overwhelmed...and quickly. That's just not "kid brain" territory. Ditto for the TV shows that push this message to them. It may be the cool thing to watch these shows, but I've found the old standard rule to work...would it embarrass  you to watch this with your grandmother? If so, don't watch it. 

We can take the wind right out of the sails of complicated and bring it back to the calm of simple. It's going to take effort, because our ways have become habits...not good habits, mind you, but habits none the less. Turn the TV off or down during meals; have meals at home; join less and spend more time with one another--remember, these kids are supposed to be having fun with the extra stuff they do, it's not going to be their life's work. Keep the content in check--kids need kid-level info. Trust me, they'll enjoy watching otters romping around much more on the nature channel than the Kardashians romping around on the gossip channel. Keep them healthy--inside and out. Good food and good environments. 

And for goodness' sake, keep it simple. Adults don't need to wear themselves out keeping kids entertained or happy...nine times out of ten, just letting kids be kids works. Let them play--no fancy play dates--let them figure out how to play with their toys and games. They don't need a cruise under their belts by age ten--unless that cruise is an imaginary one in a big cardboard box. Now that's having fun...and keeping it simple--blissfully simple.

"Then you will understand what is right and just and fair -every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul, Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you."

Peace be with you.

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